"Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner"..... What?!?

Well, recently I have been struggling with an often deemed Christian concept.... This concept encapsulated in the phrase often quoted by Christians: "Hate the sin, love the sinner."
It just kept seeming to come up in different instances, conversations, and situations.

I've been struggling with this phrase because.... well, how does that actually work out in life?
If you tell someone you hate what they are doing but you love them, all to often it isn't going to feel like love. They may feel slapped in the face at best, and rejected and unloved at worst. So, how is that actually love?

So, having been sufficiently stymied, confused, and frustrated on the topic, I decided to go to the source- The Bible, of course.
It may come as a shock to some of you, but perhaps not to all to know that nowhere in the Bible could I find a verse that says "Hate the sin, love the sinner". Not a single one. 

Now, there are definite examples of things God calls sin in the Bible. Just read through Exodus and Leviticus and you will probably read almost all of them. I'm not in any way confused on or disputing that.

However, God definitely tells us to love other people in numerous places all over the Bible, particularly in the gospels, but extensively in 1 John 3 and 4. Here is an excerpt of chapter 4 (This and other verses are in NLT):

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.... 16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other because he loved us first. 20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters."

I think that's pretty clear. Though, for the sake of argument, it does seem to reference loving only other Christian brothers and sisters. What about everyone else? 
We aren't let off the hook! Jesus himself said that the only other commandment close in importance to loving God with everything in your being is to love your neighbor as yourself. Your neighbor isn't just people you like or that are like you- It is anyone and everyone. 

So, if this phrase "Hate the sin, love the sinner" didn't originate in the Bible, then where did it come from? Well, it didn't take very much internet searching to discover that the phrase actually originated with Mahatma Gandhi, a Hindu civil activist and leader in India...... 

I'll just give you a minute here with that...... 

So, how did this phrase become adopted as a pet Christian quote? I'm thinking it is because so many people find it difficult to come to terms with how God calls certain things sin, but also tells us to love one another. It's a convenient phrase to use. 

I'll just mention a few other things.
Romans 12:9 says, "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. (This is the closest the Bible comes to that sin/sinner saying, but it still has a different focus.) Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other." 

A few verse later it goes on to say, "Bless those who persecute. Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all! Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone."

I could pretty much highlight that whole section because it is all important. 

Go back and read verse 10 in the excerpt from 1 John 4.
Real love is not judgmental- it is sacrificial.

As Christians, it is not our calling to withdraw from people, even if it is uncomfortable or confusing.
True love is given to us from Jesus who loved us and died for us. If we believe in that and are considered to be "Christians", it does not make us any better than other people, just blessed with the gift we have received. There should be no pride in it for ourselves, because we have no reason to be. We did nothing. God is the one that did everything. He only asks us to give to others as He had already given to us- sacrificially.

We have to remember that we aren't sinless, just forgiven of that sin. We have no right to cast any stones on any other person for their sin (John 8).

Also, remember that the first and second commandment (Love God with your whole being, and love others as yourself) trump every other commandment in the Bible. They are all summed up into these two commandments. Neither of them say anything about how to view other people's sin, only how you are to live your own life.

So..... for me, I'm going to live my own life as I believe God tells me to do. And I'm going to love other people around me as best as I can. I'll also do my best to leave any sin judging up to God, because that isn't my job or my calling.






Edit: This is further thoughts and clarification from questions/comments on facebook...


There is a valid point about not wanting a friend to remain in a sinful situation while I do nothing.
The problem is that I don't think it is a simple cut and dried thing. The Bible is fairly clear on what to do when a fellow Christian is in sin. I'm not disputing that in any way. Though, often that intervention isn't done as the entirety of the Bible indicates and/or the manner in which it is done often could be a lot more loving than it ends up being.

The problem comes in more when talking about someone that isn't saved. The Bible says that any sin separates you from God. Yet, all too often it is a specific sin in another person that gets people all fired up. I don't think that part is biblical. The Bible indicates that a single gluttonous bite is just as sinful as murder in God's eyes, yet many Christians turn a blind eye to gluttony. Point a person to Jesus, yes! But not just on the merit of a specific sin, but rather the sinful human nature we all have. Though, it is important to remember that even though they are physically and spiritually separated from God, He still loves them and grieves for them so we should feel the same.

Also, we can't expect someone that doesn't know God's truth to act on God's truth. Does that sin still separate them from God? Absolutely. But, we ourselves can't judge someone for that because they don't know and don't have the Holy Spirit guiding them. Check out 1 Corinthians 5, specifically 9-13. I think that praying for the Holy Spirit to work in their heart and life so that they will realize the need to turn from sin or see their need for Jesus is a powerful thing and not always used.

I'm not saying "I then need to do nothing". I'm saying "I need to love them and not judge them as though I am better than they are". That love may look very different for each person and situation.

As I mentioned earlier, all to often it is the manner in which people point out another's sin that is the problem. And though we all play a part, ultimately the state of a person's soul is in God's hands, not ours.