What's Your Type? Using MBTI, etc.

Confession.... 

I LOVE figuring things out about people. 

And myself.

It's one of my favorite things. :) Things that just all of a sudden make sense because I find out, figure out, make a connection with one little thing... it gets me excited! 

Plus, if I can help someone with it, so much the better. 

In some ways it's easier to understand other people than myself. 

At times I can be the most sociable person, seeming very extroverted, and at times you might wonder if I am even around anymore because no one has heard from me in a while... 

Believe it or not, all of these things you might find out without even meeting me or knowing as much about me... And the reason is because these are very true for my personality type. 

Now... you might be wondering about personality types. How accurate is this stuff? Does it really make sense? 

(No, I'm not just pulling this out of the ether, I've been asked this often!)

I'll tell you, yes... and no... and yes... 
That's a definitive answer for you! ;) 

To explain what I mean, let me explain and use MBTI for my example as that's my favorite personality system to use. 

There are 16 personality types in MBTI, which stands for Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Everyone will fall into one of these 16 types.

Now, if you grew up learning, as I did, that each person is unique and their own special snowflake that is like no one else, you might take exception to this. 

Just hold on to something and let me get to the end before you protest. :) 

So, how your MBTI personality type is figured out is the answers to two choices within 4 sets of dichotomies. In each of these four areas you might have some of both, but you have a definite lean one way or the other. The important thing to remember in figuring out your type is to answer based on how you are inclined to be, not learned or you wish you were. 

The first is pretty easy... Extroverted or Introverted. Where do you put your attention or gain your energy from?

Most people have heard of these and know pretty much where they fall, even if they've not really heard of MBTI. 

Extroverts tend to gain energy from participating in activities, particularly when there are people involved. Other people energizes them, and often they understand a problem better when they can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say. 

Introverts tend to gain energy from dealing with ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are in their own inner world. They like to be by themselves or only one or two people that they feel comfortable with. Ideas tend to have a life of their own inside an introvert's head. Sometimes they are in their head so much it can cause jarring when ideas don't match reality. 

The second dichotomy is Sensing or iNtuition. What kind of information do you focus on? This one can be a little tricky. 

Sensing tends to be concerned with the physical reality, the present. Sensors tend to remember facts and details more easily, so much so that they tend to use them to work their way through problems and to see the bigger picture. Experience speaks louder than words, and tends to be trusted more than symbols or theories. Sensors like things to be practical and have a use, and learn best when they see the practical application of what they are learning. 

iNtuition tends to pay more attention to the meaning behind the patterns and ideas they see, often being more future oriented as they think about possibility and future potential. Instead of facts and specific memories, iNtuitives remember the meaning they made and the connections they saw more than the actual events, as they tend to trust their intuitions more than the facts. They like to see the big picture first, then make their way through the facts and details. It can often be the case that iNtuitives are in their head so much that they have difficulty putting their ideas into reality.  

The third dichotomy is Thinking or Feeling. How do you like to make decisions? This one is a little more straightforward. 

Thinking people like to find the truth (their goal) and principles behind the facts and events they experience. They like to analyze the pros and cons, weighing and measuring the facts to determine what actions would be most logical moving forward. Thinkers tend to notice inconsistencies, look for logical explanations, and like things to be fair. It is not uncommon for Thinkers to be blunt and completely insensitive, though they are often confused you see them as coming across that way- they are just telling you the truthful facts as they try to be helpful in solving your problem.

Feeling people are less concerned with logic and facts and more concerned with what's best for everyone involved. Harmony is their goal, which is why they get nervous and anxious when it is missing. They will do whatever they can to keep the harmony in place, which is why Feelers are often warm, caring, and tactful, often coming across to Thinkers as wishy washy, idealistic, and too indirect. They tend to make decisions based on their heart and compassion, looking to what is important to others, and for the situation. Because of this it is difficult for Thinkers to predict their actions, causing conflict. 

The fourth is Judging or Perceiving. How do you like to live your life?

Judging is not the same as judgmental. If you associate it with judicious perhaps that will help. These Judges like to have things organized, planned, and orderly, feeling comfortable when they bring structure, control, and decisiveness to their outer world. Obstacles to these goals, particularly when it's Perceivers, bring frustration. Judges like to make lists, make decisions, plan ahead, and be task oriented. Because they can be goal oriented, they often can miss new information and things that happen along the way. 

Perceiving people prefer to be flexible and spontaneous, adapting to their outer world so that they stay open to new information and experiences. Perceivers like to be loose and casual, keeping plans to a minimum. They have their own internal time table, working in bursts of energy, and nothing frustrates them more than someone trying to rush them or push them into making decisions before they are ready (though sometimes they realize it's needed). 

So...  there are the four dichotomies for MBTI and the two options within each! Choosing the one that more closely fits with you for each set should give you your personality type. 

Did you recognize yourself in these options? 

Here's examples:

Me: INFJ- Introverted, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging
Steve (Husband): ESTJ- Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging
Yes, you are reading this right that we have only one category in common! 

If you have difficulty choosing which ones are yours, remember that this is your natural inclination, not what you have learned to be or wish you were.  

Now, I said I would explain about how accurate MBTI is, and if it makes sense. 

Here's the thing... it's accuracy is limited to your answers. 

If your result doesn't seem accurate, perhaps you answered based on how you have learned to be or wish you were? If you have trouble remembering your natural inclination, try to think back to when you were a child, particularly between 7-9 and 14-16. This avoids the onset of puberty when everyone was just a bit tricky to understand, though of course, absolutely delightful.... Really... O.o

If you are still having trouble, I will tell you this much... you are probably a P. 
Or, you are having difficulty with the scope of the categories and the accuracy of the answers (if you took the test), and are probably an I_TJ. ;) 

Back to your objection I made for you (yes, I'm so helpful), about each person being unique, so how can this work... think about it this way... 

With the answers for each, there are 16 possible combinations of the above dichotomies. 

That's more than many other personality systems that only have four, or six. Within each personality type there are variations that can be similar or unique to other variations in the types (When you are only one letter off there can be a lot of similarity!). 

For instance, you can have 16 different cookie cutter shapes for your sugar cookies. Are each one going to be exactly the same? 
Unless you are a master baker, that answer is likely no. There will be a variety in thickness, spreading, decorating shapes, and colors. 

Even if you are a master baker, you will still have variations in decorations and colors... unless you are entirely boring... and no one likes a boring baker! 

(Well, maybe if you are an ST you do because you don't like a lot of change unless you cause it). 

Take a snowman and a gingerbread man. Their shapes are entirely different. They look different, and if they were in a cartoon and could move, they would move differently too. There is no mistaking one for the other. However, they could both be wearing a blue scarf and have a button nose. Or a really cute red bowtie and black hat... you probably get the idea!

You are definitely in one of the personality types! But, you could be similar in some ways to other people in their types because you have ways of doing things or seeing things in common, usually two or three of the same letters in the dichotomies. 

There is also the possibility that you could figure it out, know for sure which one it is, and have it mostly apply to you, but you still aren't convinced it fits entirely well because you look a little different than others in your type. 

Well, that's where some of my own theories come in- based on talking to a lot of people, figuring out my own immediate family's types and dynamics as well as those of others I know and will remain nameless for now to maintain some privacy (and because I haven't asked them if it's ok to share their information). 

Here's my advice if you find your type but it still doesn't seem to completely fit in all areas- Look at your Family of Origin (FOO), or your primary caregivers/influencers. 

Your FOO influences you a lot, more than you might realize until you've gained some years and looked back. It makes sense that it would influence the manifestation of your personality type as well. 

Here's an example from my own life as to how your FOO's types can affect how yours manifests. 

On paper, Steve's and my personality types don't work together. In fact, they are under the heading of "Do not attempt because you will sink like a ship". 

Ok... so I made that heading up. But, that's basically what it was telling me in everything I read. No, I'm serious. You can look them up. 

However, we work well together as a couple, and though there are frustrations at times on both sides, we often balance each other out and have a lot in common that helps a lot. I think we have grown to appreciate each other a lot more over the past 13 years we have been together too. Plus we talk a lot... that always helps! The times we tend to have more trouble is when we aren't talking as much (Coincidence? I think not!). 

But, seriously, he's the best husband ever and I'm so thankful for him and all he does to love and take care of us!

So... why is our relationship so different than everything I've read? Is one of our types wrong? 

Not necessarily. I was thinking through the personality types in both of our families a few months ago and realized that though I'm an F (Feeling), my parents are both strong Ts. Mainly ST's. And though Steve's a strong T (Thinking), one of his parents is a pretty strong F and he spent a good bit of time with that parent. 

My epiphany that day became a theory- one that has held up in other instances so far... We developed different parts of our personalities because of who we were around so much and greatly influenced us. 

Though Steve is still a T, as a child he was used to adjusting for an F. And though I'm an F, I was used to adjusting for a T. In addition, my closest sister in age is an E. So, I'm used to adjusting for both E and T. 

So, Steve's F was a little more developed than other Ts, and my E and T was a little more developed than many F's often are. However, we both are still the personality types we started out with. We did not suddenly switch from one to the other. 

Once I thought of how our FOO influences us within our types, the types and how there are many differences for each of us within the types made a lot more sense!

Because of this influence from your FOO, it affects many different things about how your personality works in life, which I will share in my next post! 

*Please note that much of the text for the MBTI descriptions was taken from myersbriggs.org to ensure accuracy.